Gathering My Ghost

by Alex Smith

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    The cases for the CD were done by my cousin Alia and they are beautiful! They are printed on a letterpress from 1899 that Alia and Jason named Hugo. See it here: darlingpressandstationers.com/our-press

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02:51
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credits

released June 20, 2012

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Alex Smith Portland, Oregon

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Track Name: The Canary Song feat. Anais & Mark
Love's a liar in an honest kind of way
I'll invite it in, offer it a drink, it takes a seat with
a sense permanence
It says it here to stay.
And I don't know why
I fool myself in thinking it'd be different this time

Love's a vagrant, it's a wanderer.
Still I'll leave the light on,
even if I think that I'll get hurt.

All of my life grief has never been a fair weather friend.
If I'm a top of the world,
or if I think I just hit rock bottom

It says it here to stay.
And I don't know why
I fool myself in thinking it'd be different this time

Let me be the canary in the coal mine
See how long I can keep singing
when my conscience
is a chorus

(Change)
part 1: I'll hold my head up high
I'll keep an open mind.
I won't dwell on the past
I'm gonna find love that will last
part 2: What is it that you are looking for this time?
What is it that you are searching for this time? (x2)
part 3: You're scared to be alone
Track Name: Gathering My Ghost (feat. Anais, Mark, & Andrew)
Gathering My Ghosts

Oh I’ll go down to the harbor,
I’ll see which ships are sailing.
When my own life is derailing
I’ll set sail
And let the wind take me where it will

Oh I’ll make a plane of balsa wood
I’ll see how well it flies
I don’t know how much baggage it can hold
But it will fly to warmer skies.

There’s 50 way to leave your lover
But only time can heal the wounds
I tried to plan me a great escape
But I was still lonely just father away

There are 50 ways to leave your lover
Planes, trains, and automobiles,
I could hitch hike down the interstate
But it wont fix the way I feel

My life has a way of following me
Wherever I go.
It won’t leave me alone.
So I can’t leave even if I can’t go home
So I’ll start gathering my ghost.

It doesn’t matter how many miles I’ve gone
It’s still not moving on.
I’ll start gathering my ghosts.
Track Name: Obediah
One day we'll have kids that we give funny names
Obediah and Reginald will never forgive us
One day we'll lose our fashion sense, be put to shame
Once again our kids will never forgive us

One day we will have to face treasury bonds
income tax, dividends, set up 401K's
One day you'll get home from work and you'll say
I dont know what this means is that okay?

And we'll laugh.. hahahhahaha

One day my breast will sag down to knees
and you'll say darling please won't you put on the red dress you wore
the first day that we meet and although it won't fit
You'll say, "I've never seen you look so good before"

One day your receding hairline will take a leap back
one day I'll have a lot of cats
One day you'll exagerate tall tales of the years past
and I'll complain about the rising price of gas
One day we'll both get ugly tattoos that stretch and fade
one day we'll both need hearing aids
One day we'll depend a lot of depends
and you'll unknowingly pass gas but are we to blame?

When we laugh. Hahahahahahah
Track Name: Melt into the Ground feat. Mark Robertson
I doubt that I have the strength
to be no one at all
to melt into the ground
to be so small

And what have I to leave behind
or to save
but an old pair of shoes
or dead hair in the drain
so wash me away

I know it's hard to be brave
and it's not my fault that I was raised this way
I was told I had a say
over the land over sea
and then He said to me
that you're my right hand man

and there's so much that I know

or maybe I don't.
I'm just a baby in the cold.

And what have I to leave behind or save?

They say the quickest way to heaven
Is through fame.
So what do I do
To get them praising my name?
For even if they don’t,
At the end of the day,
The roots will rise up from the clay
The earth will take my body in the same way

I’ll melt into the ground.
I’ll be no one at all.
Track Name: The Grange
Maybe we'll make like a tree,
an evergreen, and never leave.
We'll dig our toes into the ground
root ourselves to the sound

I'll leave a part of me on this street.
I pray I won't leave too incomplete
when I head south.

Just think of all the places we'll go
we'll go all the places. Did you know
that even crows can recognize your faces?

So there's no chance in hell that I'm forgetting yours.
There's no chance of that happening.
It doesn't matter if we're moving out and moving on.
I'd hardly call this an ending.

Do you remember in the fall?
We ate our dinners in the lawn.
We were so new to it all.
We were so glad it was our own.

We were howling at the moon, the neighbors stood and stared
We should all be howling at the moon. They're just a little scared.
Well I'm scared.

After all.

We made this house into a home,
put paper snowflakes on the wall,
kept them up til May,
the sun is out, it's time to go home

We baked our bread every week
we loved the ground beneath our feet
we let the weeds grow
and planted vegetables in a bureau

And though it makes me sad to leave
I think of what the future brings
our kids and grandkids can be friends
so we can't call this the end.

Can you hear me? Can you hear me down in Oregon?
I'm howling, howling, howling, at the moon.
Wherever you are I hope that you're howling too.
I'll count my lucky stars that I'll be seeing you soon.
I'll be howling at you.
Track Name: Discretion
If you go down that road
I will try not to follow.
I will turn the other way,
but I hope that you would stay.

I cooked the food for us to eat
but you don't have to swallow
just be sweet and descreet
in your method of disposal.

Please don't hurt my pride if you don't have to.
Your sticks and stones, sighs and groans,
when you use that tone it cuts into me.

Into bed I tuck my feet,
and I ask you what to read.
You look at me, flip on your side
and turn off the light.

Your back it feels cold,
and the thought that's always haunted me
creeps beneath the sheets
and I know you've never wanted me.

Please don't hurt my pride if you don't have to.
Your sticks and stones, sighs and groans,
when you use that tone it cuts into me.

There's a girl down the street
and I see when your eyes meet.
I will try not to pry.
I will try not to cry.

When the day does arrive
that you turn to me and say goodbye.
Just be sweet and discreet
in your method of disposal.
Track Name: Looping Lives
Orosi, Costa Rica
Seeta. Uganda
La ciudad de Oaxaca
La ciudad de rosas

Sleeping and eating and reading and writing
and biking and hiking and laughing and laughing
and sleeping and eating and reading and writing
and painting and singing until my ears are ringing

Sunday mass and Catholic schoool.
No cross around my neck.
The currency and color of privelege
a weight upon my back.

To give anything but love is a waste of my time.