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Gathering My Ghost

by Alex Smith

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    The cases for the CD were done by my cousin Alia and they are beautiful! They are printed on a letterpress from 1899 that Alia and Jason named Hugo. See it here: darlingpressandstationers.com/our-press

    When you buy the CD itself I will mail it to you (no additional shipping cost) within one week or give it to you in person.

    The money I raise from the CD will help me pay for my trip to South America in the spring!

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1.
2.
Love's a liar in an honest kind of way I'll invite it in, offer it a drink, it takes a seat with a sense permanence It says it here to stay. And I don't know why I fool myself in thinking it'd be different this time Love's a vagrant, it's a wanderer. Still I'll leave the light on, even if I think that I'll get hurt. All of my life grief has never been a fair weather friend. If I'm a top of the world, or if I think I just hit rock bottom It says it here to stay. And I don't know why I fool myself in thinking it'd be different this time Let me be the canary in the coal mine See how long I can keep singing when my conscience is a chorus (Change) part 1: I'll hold my head up high I'll keep an open mind. I won't dwell on the past I'm gonna find love that will last part 2: What is it that you are looking for this time? What is it that you are searching for this time? (x2) part 3: You're scared to be alone
3.
Gathering My Ghosts Oh I’ll go down to the harbor, I’ll see which ships are sailing. When my own life is derailing I’ll set sail And let the wind take me where it will Oh I’ll make a plane of balsa wood I’ll see how well it flies I don’t know how much baggage it can hold But it will fly to warmer skies. There’s 50 way to leave your lover But only time can heal the wounds I tried to plan me a great escape But I was still lonely just father away There are 50 ways to leave your lover Planes, trains, and automobiles, I could hitch hike down the interstate But it wont fix the way I feel My life has a way of following me Wherever I go. It won’t leave me alone. So I can’t leave even if I can’t go home So I’ll start gathering my ghost. It doesn’t matter how many miles I’ve gone It’s still not moving on. I’ll start gathering my ghosts.
4.
Obediah 03:04
One day we'll have kids that we give funny names Obediah and Reginald will never forgive us One day we'll lose our fashion sense, be put to shame Once again our kids will never forgive us One day we will have to face treasury bonds income tax, dividends, set up 401K's One day you'll get home from work and you'll say I dont know what this means is that okay? And we'll laugh.. hahahhahaha One day my breast will sag down to knees and you'll say darling please won't you put on the red dress you wore the first day that we meet and although it won't fit You'll say, "I've never seen you look so good before" One day your receding hairline will take a leap back one day I'll have a lot of cats One day you'll exagerate tall tales of the years past and I'll complain about the rising price of gas One day we'll both get ugly tattoos that stretch and fade one day we'll both need hearing aids One day we'll depend a lot of depends and you'll unknowingly pass gas but are we to blame? When we laugh. Hahahahahahah
5.
I doubt that I have the strength to be no one at all to melt into the ground to be so small And what have I to leave behind or to save but an old pair of shoes or dead hair in the drain so wash me away I know it's hard to be brave and it's not my fault that I was raised this way I was told I had a say over the land over sea and then He said to me that you're my right hand man and there's so much that I know or maybe I don't. I'm just a baby in the cold. And what have I to leave behind or save? They say the quickest way to heaven Is through fame. So what do I do To get them praising my name? For even if they don’t, At the end of the day, The roots will rise up from the clay The earth will take my body in the same way I’ll melt into the ground. I’ll be no one at all.
6.
The Grange 04:58
Maybe we'll make like a tree, an evergreen, and never leave. We'll dig our toes into the ground root ourselves to the sound I'll leave a part of me on this street. I pray I won't leave too incomplete when I head south. Just think of all the places we'll go we'll go all the places. Did you know that even crows can recognize your faces? So there's no chance in hell that I'm forgetting yours. There's no chance of that happening. It doesn't matter if we're moving out and moving on. I'd hardly call this an ending. Do you remember in the fall? We ate our dinners in the lawn. We were so new to it all. We were so glad it was our own. We were howling at the moon, the neighbors stood and stared We should all be howling at the moon. They're just a little scared. Well I'm scared. After all. We made this house into a home, put paper snowflakes on the wall, kept them up til May, the sun is out, it's time to go home We baked our bread every week we loved the ground beneath our feet we let the weeds grow and planted vegetables in a bureau And though it makes me sad to leave I think of what the future brings our kids and grandkids can be friends so we can't call this the end. Can you hear me? Can you hear me down in Oregon? I'm howling, howling, howling, at the moon. Wherever you are I hope that you're howling too. I'll count my lucky stars that I'll be seeing you soon. I'll be howling at you.
7.
Discretion 02:51
If you go down that road I will try not to follow. I will turn the other way, but I hope that you would stay. I cooked the food for us to eat but you don't have to swallow just be sweet and descreet in your method of disposal. Please don't hurt my pride if you don't have to. Your sticks and stones, sighs and groans, when you use that tone it cuts into me. Into bed I tuck my feet, and I ask you what to read. You look at me, flip on your side and turn off the light. Your back it feels cold, and the thought that's always haunted me creeps beneath the sheets and I know you've never wanted me. Please don't hurt my pride if you don't have to. Your sticks and stones, sighs and groans, when you use that tone it cuts into me. There's a girl down the street and I see when your eyes meet. I will try not to pry. I will try not to cry. When the day does arrive that you turn to me and say goodbye. Just be sweet and discreet in your method of disposal.
8.
Orosi, Costa Rica Seeta. Uganda La ciudad de Oaxaca La ciudad de rosas Sleeping and eating and reading and writing and biking and hiking and laughing and laughing and sleeping and eating and reading and writing and painting and singing until my ears are ringing Sunday mass and Catholic schoool. No cross around my neck. The currency and color of privelege a weight upon my back. To give anything but love is a waste of my time.

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released June 20, 2012

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Alex Smith Portland, Oregon

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